When you’re new to someone’s home, you conduct yourself in a respectable manner. If you see that people take their shoes off before going upstairs, you ask if you should take your shoes off (at least I do). You basically conduct yourself in a way that’s respectful of the other person’s space.
In social media, new users might do things that go against the norm of what’s considered “appropriate” behavior. You might get someone who spams Twitter will blatant self-promotional Tweets. Or someone who spams Facebook Walls with links to their own stuff. Sometimes, you try and give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, they’re new.
So today, I thought I’d publish an informal guide to the unspoken rules of online etiquette. Feel free to add your own take in the comments.
Appearance Matters
- Unless you’re a big name brand like Coca-Cola, people don’t like friending logos.
- Ditch the glamour shot from 10 years ago.
- Be mindful of what you publish (blogs, comments, Tweets, Status Updates, etc.) because once it’s out there, it’s out there.
- Venting about a client on Facebook probably isn’t a good idea especially if you’re friends with said client on Facebook.
- A well polished website design makes a difference. If your site is too difficult to navigate, you’re going to lose customers.
Friending Others
- Friending isn’t an obligation, it’s a privilege. Don’t get upset if someone doesn’t “Follow” you back or accepts your “Friend Request” on Facebook. It’s nothing personal (unless of course it is).
- It’s ok to follow the competition (you don’t have to, but it’s ok if you do).
- It’s ok to set different rules for different networks. For example, I’m more likely to follow (almost) anyone on Twitter, but I won’t accept your Friend Request on Facebook unless I personally know you and/or we’ve met before.
- Use lists whenever possible. You can create lists on Twitter, Facebook and use “Circles” on Google+. Use lists as a way to manage noise and follow who’s important to you.
Managing Conversations
- Don’t moderate comments. If you must, just make sure it doesn’t take you a week to approve them. There’s no quicker way to make reader’s feel neglected.
- Responsiveness counts. If I leave a comment, and you don’t respond, but you responded to everyone else’s comment, well, you just lost a reader and potentially a customer.
- Don’t take days to respond to an email inquiry. Especially if your contact form reads “we respond to emails within 24 hours.” You’ll lose business opportunities this way.
- You don’t have to reply to all social mentions, but do make an effort. It says you don’t care and you’ll quickly lose some of your best fans.
- You don’t need to RT every positive compliment someone gives you – that’s annoying. In some cases, it looks like you’re “trying to hard.” A simple “thank you” should suffice.
Sharing & Promoting
- Promote other people’s stuff 10x’s more than you promote your own. This does two things: 1.) it builds good karma and people will see you as a resource for finding good content, 2.) it shows that you’re not just there to blatantly self-promote and sell your own stuff.
- It’s ok to link to your recent blog post or event Tweet out a discount – you know, that self-promotion stuff. But as they say in the Tanqueray commercial’s, “always in moderation.”
- Just remember, the more you promote others, the more likely they are to promote you in return.
- If you like something someone wrote, Tweet it, “Like” it, Stumble it. It’s encouraging and it’s also an indirect of saying “hey, that was a really good post.”
- But don’t send me a DM every day asking me to Tweet, “Like,” and Stumble your latest blog post – especially if we’ve never met before.
Content Creation
- The more consistently you create, the better. That could mean once a week, twice a week or daily. Just as long as you stay consistent.
- Generally speaking, the more you publish, the more traffic you get (provided it’s good, relevant content).
- Use images and lists to break up your text and make it easier to read (remember: people love to skim through content).
- Don’t forget about your Call To Action and the end of each post. This could mean asking people to comment, subscribe or take action on something (a product) you have to offer.
- Don’t RT yourself once every hour. On the other hand, it’s ok to Tweet about your post 2-3 times a day to reach different time-zones.
- Don’t DM people you don’t know or have previous relationship with asking them to RT your blog post.
- Don’t spam other people’s comments saying things like: “Great post, I recently talked about this subject here ______________. You should read it and Tweet it!”
- Comment when you have something valuable to add to the discussion (this includes blogs, Facebook updates, and Google+.
- Don’t email everyone on a Facebook thread. Those are annoying. Instead, email folks individually. Or use your Fan page to communicate with folks in that manner.
- If you comment on a Facebook thread, the notifications will end sooner or later.
- I know your newsletter is awesome, but still, don’t assume I want to receive it and auto-subscribe me. By default, that ruins our relationship before it even starts.
- Once you build an email list, work hard on delivering the promise you made to subscribers. The second you stray from that message, you’re going to start losing subscribers.
What would you add? How else do you think companies, brands and marketers should conduct themselves when interacting online?
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Good reminders and guide to go by Ricardo. Thanks for contributing to the professionalism of our industry. This is an excellent link to share with our agents.
Thank you Mike, much appreciated.
Thank you Mike, much appreciated.
Thank you Mike, much appreciated.
Its funny how many of those rules you break starting out. I guess that’s how you learn…
Totally. That’s why I always give people the benefit of the doubt. Some people know they’re doing it, others simply don’t realize (at least at first). Spamming a network with your message is not the way to get attention (at least not the type of attention that matters).
Totally. That’s why I always give people the benefit of the doubt. Some people know they’re doing it, others simply don’t realize (at least at first). Spamming a network with your message is not the way to get attention (at least not the type of attention that matters).
Ha, like commenting under the wrong name!
Heh, have totally done that before. Always forget to log out of one account and into the other 😛
Heh, have totally done that before. Always forget to log out of one account and into the other 😛
Ha, like commenting under the wrong name!
Ha, like commenting under the wrong name!
Totally. That’s why I always give people the benefit of the doubt. Some people know they’re doing it, others simply don’t realize (at least at first). Spamming a network with your message is not the way to get attention (at least not the type of attention that matters).
Good list there. I know I broke a ton of those rules before I ever learned. I think too often businesses and bloggers use social media like a billboard, where they just shout out their information and expect me to do something about it. Rather, I’ve tried to start using it as a conversation. Talking with people rather than posting at them.
Seth: Agreed. And I think we’ve all broken some of these at one point or another.
Marketers and business use it as a megaphone to promote their own message all the time. I give them the benefit of the doubt sometimes. Others, I just unfollow and/or avoid them if they’re not being helpful.
Being helpful is key. Seek to be helpful first, and you’ll build a loyal following based on that alone (at least in my opinion).
Honestly I’m still breaking a few of these rules… but it’s also quite contextual. I wouldn’t consider it ‘spamming’ Facebook to only promote my posts when I really only post to Facebook once every 2 weeks anyway. So is it spam or not? It’s really only my means to keep pinging that outlet to let everyone know I’m still kinda alive 🙂
For the most part, I’m in a agreement with the things you’ve outlined. A few were kinda surprising (I’m surprised it’s that common to retweet every mention. I thought that might be considered too self-serving as opposed to gracious, but I was looking at it from the wrong angle).
Great stuff. Consider this one bookmarked 🙂
Hey Rick,
Nah, I wouldn’t say you’re “breaking the rules.” In my observation, some people take it too far. Posting about your real estate listing (the same one mind you) at 2:00am on Facebook, doesn’t seem like the most useful approach to me for example. And yes, I’ve seen people go off and ReTweet mentions back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back.
In some respects, I suppose I was ranting while mentioning a few of these items. The way I see it, there are effective ways of getting attention and not-so-effective ways of getting attention. And so the goal of this post, is to point some of those ways out.
Thanks for the comment Rick, always appreciate you stopping by!
Hey Ricardo. I’m a contrarian by nature, so if you had said the complete opposite, I’d simply try to look at the other vantage point to try and see it from all angles… so don’t take it personally if I get nit picky!
I totally see where you’re coming from re:retweeting into oblivious or scheduling at odd times just for the sake of talking to the wall. I know if it’s something you live and breath all day, some behaviors must drive you up the wall!
Again, it all is contextual. You’re an active tweeter, I’m not. So we’ll have very different reactions to what others do based on our experiences.
Don’t worry about ranting. Few make a big splash without taking a strong position! 🙂
“Comment when you have something valuable to add to the discussion”- Yes, thank you!
Sometimes I read a post that leaves me speechless, in a good way… and all I can say is.. Wow, I love this post!, but that’s rare. I usually have something to ask or add to the content.
As far as Twitter goes, I will never like automatic direct messages and a good suggestion for all social media is to actually show interest in people and not make it all about you 🙂
Great post!
Agreed! You become interesting by being interested. That’s a much better way to get someone’s attention that trying to shove your message down their throats (so-to-speak).
Thanks for the comment Denise!
Loved this, Ricardo! I really enjoyed the entire article; don’t even know where to start commenting!
Do you think I should update my business’ Facebook/Twitter to include my photo rather than the SH logo? I’ve heard that a lot but somewhat prefer the differentiation between my personal social media presence and my business one, though I do see the value in humanizing the brand.
I also love the point about promoting others over yourself — I get more support from people whom I’ve helped promote than any time I’ve blatantly asked for any type of promo.
I totally agree about not RTing compliments to you — definitely looks like you’re trying too hard. More is said in subtitles than anywhere else.
You know, I’ve always felt weird about logos. It’s just, unless it’s a big name brand, I’m almost inclined to associate that logo with a spammer. Because that’s what most people resort to, spam to promote their message (imho).
When I get to see the person behind the logo, I’m a little more receptive to their message.
Look at what Rick did with the Blogworld Twitter account. It’s still the logo with his face planted on it though 🙂
Oooh, that’s a great idea. Maybe I’ll try to create a ‘logo’ that incorporates my actual brand logo along with the personal touch. Thank you!
EXCELLENT post! I experienced this social media rudeness or poor etiquette in a very uncomfortable way, at a family gathering, and wrote about it: http://ow.ly/6t5qR.
I love YOUR analogy of being a guest in someone’s home…THAT is the truth. BUT, it does seem to be much different for our kids!
Hey Bruce, I think you missed the 7th bullet under Content Creation!
(I’m kidding because I know Bruce and he wrote a great post…hmm, maybe I’m violating an etiquette rule about how sarcasm doesn’t always convey online.)
Mark: heh, it’s all good. This isn’t a “Sarcasm Free” zone or anything. In fact, it’s welcomed and encouraged around here as you’ll often see from some of my writing 🙂
Damn…you caught me again, Mark!
Man, don’t get me started on the younger generation. I don’t know if it’s because they don’t know any better or they just don’t care.
Heading over to read your comment now… Thanks for dropping in Bruce!
I like good writing Ricardo – thank you!
Ricardo–great series of suggestions. Would love to get you on our radio show to talk about this. Let me know if that works for you. Have a great week!
Hi Bernice, would love to. I’ll email you so we can pick a date and discuss details 🙂
What if the glamor shot is from this year? 😉
I agree with most of these, but there are few I disagree with.
1. Leaving replies to comments. I think the only comments that need replying on are those that ask a question or if they make a unique point. Replying to everyone is not necessary (sometimes, there is nothing to reply…)
2. I don’t think 10x more promotion of others is necessary. I think a 4 to 1 ratio is about fair (otherwise, it’s just too much promo of others…any OVER promo is bad, regardless of whose it is)
3. Using images. I love images, but it is better to NOT use an image than to use a bad image or images that don’t match the content.
Oh, and pretty sure just by writing this, they became “spoken” rules of etiquette 😉
Here’s my rule (or at least a pet peeve). It’s fine to tweet a link to an article you’re mentioned in, but at least acknowledge that you are in it. The reader is going to figure it out eventually so don’t make them feel it was a bait and switch.
I both agree and disagree with that point Mark. I get what you mean though, sometimes (perhaps more often than not), it’s ego-driven. Those are the times it bothers me a little.
You KNOW I’m on board with the auto-subscribe newsletter!
Great tips, Ricardo. As for something to add? I’d say L-I-S-T-E-N. Not chomping at the bit waiting for your turn to talk, tweet, email, comment, etc. Just listen. That’ goes a long way to connecting and creating meaningful online relations, in my opinion 😉
Heh, I knew you would be 😉
And GREAT reminder about listening! Sharpie comes to mind here.
(I took off my shoes here.) I’m with you on the points about friending. I don’t care who wants to follow me on Twitter, but I’m always baffled when people I don’t know at all (and can’t even figure out how they found me), want to be me friend on Facebook. Google+ seems to have overcome that with the circles. Thanks for the etiquette reminders!
What’s your feeling about the auto-respond DM back from certain Twitter accounts (always promoting their FB Page or blog or whatever) as soon as you follow them? To me, it feels spammy. It’s an invitation to automatically un-follow!
Heh, thanks for taking your shoes off and wiping your feet at the door Mitch, much appreciated 😉
I’m with you on this one. I just don’t feel good about connecting with people I don’t know personally on Facebook and LinkedIn. That wasn’t always the case, just a personally preference these days now though.
As for the auto-DM’s, 11 times out of 10, I un-follow the person 😛
This blog post definitely needed to be written. Thank you Ricardo for helping others be more polite online and more effective as communicators.
Thank YOU Cindy for reading and sharing!
This is a post that could be shared daily. Some of those “normal” actions that people are used to taking just don’t apply when it comes to social media.
One thing that I think needs to be stressed is to point out when you are sending a request to connect always include something that mentions why the person knows you, or include some kind of comment if possible.
Denise: That’s precisely how I feel about connecting on places like Facebook and LinkedIn! And don’t get me started on testimonial requests from people I don’t know 😉
Great post Ricardo, it is definitely polite to respect people’s online homes (their profiles). I think people take everything very personal sometimes when they don’t need to, have a great day!
Thanks Karla, you too!
Ricardo – Great information for aligning social media expectations within your sphere. Too much spam will cause a few too many deleted friendships.
To true. To often, you’re ending the friendship before even giving it a chance to begin!
I love this. I couldn’t agree more and think I need to share this with most people I know! Especially the ones who share too much about their customers or clients on-line.
You know, some people (especially those that you mention) need to read it a few times 😉
Very good points.
One thing that I would add is about profanity or bad words. A lot of young people think that it is normal and hip, but a lot of us are offended or at least think that it is unprofessional. You can’t use the F word on twitter, and then have someone take you seriously on a job interview the next day.
Hugs,
Sally
Sally: You know I agree with you and have to apologize, I’ve been known to drop the word sh*t in here, but with good reason on this post: https://www.ricardobueno.com/do-epic-shit. Really, it was for emphasis. Keep waiting for a permission slip in life to do something awesome.
Ricardo, I am so glad that you replied. I trust you to make your own decisions on your own blog!
My biggest concern are the young people on twitter. I am shocked on a regular basis!
Thanks,
Sally
Ricardo, I am so glad that you replied. I trust you to make your own decisions on your own blog!
My biggest concern are the young people on twitter. I am shocked on a regular basis!
Thanks,
Sally
I’m with you, Sally!
Sharing and promoting others is key! The more you share them, the more they’ll do for you. Give, give, give and you’ll get, get, get!
Max: True! Sometimes you gotta give, to get. And really, that goes a very long way.
Great post, Ricardo. I totally agree about your comments on comment moderation — and turning it OFF. With the good spam filters like Akismet, there’s really no need to pre-moderate comments. You should be READING your comments anyway, so you’ll catch the occasional spammer who sneaks by Akismet.
Hey Jeff,
Agreed 1,000%! No need to moderate. Instead, enable better spam filters. The conversation flows a little more naturally that way (if that’s important to you anyway).
Awesome guide to using Social Media responsibly – I hope you don’t mind I am going to share with some of my clients who don’t get it!
Great resource! I agree!
“Ditch the glamour shot from 10 years ago” — love it!
What about “If you’re a douche don’t even bother creating an account.” 😉
“that glamour shot from 10 years ago” comment was priceless. Great Great tips here. I like how you pull no punches with your words. Cheers!
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